Big Feathery Poop Machines Are Taking Over!

Chickens. One of the most well-known and owned animals in the world. According to Wiki, there were approximately 24 billion (yes, BILLION) in the world in 2003. I'm sure by now there are quite a few more. They seem to be a very common pet nowadays. I know many people who own no other farm animals who have chickens. They're easy animals to take care of, really, and you get meat and eggs from them.

But I hate them. With a passion. But why? Well, I'm here to tell you! In bullet points, no less!

• Chickens are ugly. Sure, there are a couple pretty species, but most of them are just ugly. 
• They're dirty. Chickens poop everywhere. If they're allowed to roam free, they will poop on anything and everything in site. Cars, furniture, golf bags. You name it. If they can perch on it, they can poop on it. They'll even perch on and poop in their food and water dishes. Nasty things.
• They're mean. 95% of the chickens I've met have nasty personalities. Especially the roosters. My aunt is terrified of them because they used to attack her every time she went into the cage. And they follow you around if they know you have food and attack if they see an opportunity to get it. 

On the flip side, I love chicken. Chicken is my favorite thing to eat. And eggs. Yum! It's so versatile and delicious. And plucked chickens are just so cute!

So in honor of my love/hate relationship with chickens, here's a recipe for you. It's called Christmas Chicken, but you can eat it any time of the year.

Christmas Chicken

20 baby carrots

2 small onions, quartered

1 lb red potatoes, chunked

1 orange, cut into wedges

1 3-lb chicken

Olive oil

*Holiday Rub

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

2. Spread vegetables and orange evenly in roasting pan. Place chicken over vegetables and drizzle with olive oil. Rub oil into and under the skin, then sprinkle with rub. Don't forget to season the cavity! Place some veggies and an orange wedge into the cavity.

3. Place the chicken into the oven. After 15 minutes, lower temp to 375. After another 15 minutes, remove the bird and flip it over. Cook another 15, then flip it back over. Return to oven for last 15 minutes. Check temperature and cook another 15 minutes if necessary.

*Holiday Rub

1 tbsp salt

1 tsp chili powder

½ tsp sugar

½ tsp ground cinnamon

1. Mix all ingredients.