Tuesday, October 30, 2012

How Do I Love Thee?

Have you ever done something really nice for someone only to have them look at you like you have three heads? Or vice versa? They did something they thought you'd love, but you really don't? It could be that you have different love languages.

What is a love language? Well, simply put, it's what makes you feel special. Gary Chapman wrote a book back in 1992 to help couples, but I think it works for everyone. So what are the love languages?

Courtesy of ldejonge

  1. Affirmation - This is my mother's love language. She loves receiving thoughtful cards and writing letters to people telling them how special they are and all that wonderful stuff. Affirmation is telling someone you love them and why. 
  2. Acts of Service - Do you feel most loved when you come home from work and the dishes are done? Then Service is one of your love languages. You feel most special when someone does something for you without you having to ask, even if it's just something small, like mowing the lawn, or taking out the trash.
  3. Physical Touch - Touch is another love language. Holding hands, a hug on a bad day, a light kiss on the cheek, cuddle time. People who need physical touch also tend to like lots of time, quantity is often more important than quality.
  4. Quality Time - Punctuality, undivided attention, and support during times of need all fall under this category. It's important to really listen to them and hear what they're saying. Smiling and nodding while half-listening will leave them devastated and feeling alone.
  5. Receiving Gifts - This is my love language. When I first discovered that, I didn't want to tell anyone. I feel greedy and horrible that I felt most loved when people buy me stuff. But now I realize that there's nothing wrong with it. It's not about the gift itself. It's knowing that someone was thinking about me when I wasn't around. It's knowing that they thought enough about me to wonder if I'd like something and then spend money on it. I'm also seriously disappointed when someone buys me something that I absolutely hate because it makes me think that they know very little about me. 

It's possible to have more than one love language, too. My other love language is acts of service. If you don't know your language(s), you can take the test here.  

What is your love language? What makes you feel most special?

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