Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Modern Romance

I have been thinking a lot lately about online romances and as I was lying in bed the other night, I had an epiphany. I, of course, must share that epiphany with you.

Online romances get a lot of flack, less so than they used to, but it's still an issue with a lot of people. Despite the millions of dollars made by online matchmaking companies and the thousands of success stories about meeting online, it's still considered embarrassing to tell your friends and family that you met your significant other on the interweb. There are many in my family who have never even used the internet and think it very odd that I would even consider meeting people in real life that I only know online. On that note, let me say that some of my closest friends are people I've never met and may never meet, but that's another topic (one I've already discussed).

So less babbling, more epiphany-explaining. What is my point? Well, it's this: The modern online romance mimics romance of old. Hear me out before you start asking about my mental stability. I actually have some pretty solid reasons.

Courtesy of jrzykat on

1. Communication in the olden days was done mostly via letter. Sure, nowadays you don't have to wait weeks for that letter to arrive, but it's very similar. An email is a type of letter (electronic mail). The letter is instant, but it's still a letter, and that's how couples used to communicate. They didn't just call a local girl up and ask her to the movies or bowling or what-have-you. They wrote letters, sometimes very long ones. When you're in a long-distance/online relationship, email and instant messaging will be a large chunk of your correspondence.

Courtesy of zoetnet on

2. Actual physical interaction was very limited. Couples saw each other very infrequently during the courting phase. And when they did, they thoroughly enjoyed the time they had together (and I don't mean with sex). They talked a lot and used the time to get to know each other even better. And they didn't always have to be doing something. They were perfectly happy sitting on a bench all day just being near the other.

Courtesy of greatbritishchefs on

3. They required patience and persistence. In today's world of instant gratification, relationships flare hot and fizzle out quickly. One of my favorite quotes comes from the show Party Time. "A good [romance] is like a crockpot. It simmers slowly all day long." Crockpot romances take time to build and and they're strong enough to last through the hard times. Long-distance/online relationships are perfectly suited for crockpot romances. Like all relationships, they take effort from both parties to make them work. You can't just call them up the day you want to go out. You actually have to plan when you get to see each other, and when you do, you make the most of it.

My actual copy.
Duct tape fixes everything!

I remember reading the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder as a kid. She married Almanzo Wilder (Farmer Boy was my absolute favorite book). In the later books, she goes into detail about their relationship and how it grew. They saw each other very little and communicated mostly through letters. I remember watching their relationship grow through her eyes and wishing for the same thing. It seemed so different from what I knew, but so perfect.

 So there you have it, folks. Even though the internet provides nearly instant communication, it also seems to be drawing us back to the old ways of romance. Do you agree? Disagree? Think I'm completely off my rocker?


  1. I love your mind and sense of humor! You are absolutely correct in your assumptions about Online Dating, thats how it's viewed by my friends whom I'm trying to help!

  2. I have several friends who have met and married after finding eachother on an internet dating site but, your right, I have always thought it a bit silly to be embarassed about where you met the love of your life...who cares! Especially in such a technologically dependent society as we live in. You would think that it would be more widely accepted at this point.

    I do like your comparrisons to dating like times of old, very interesting. I also enjoy your writing style. You orbit a little, but it reads more like a good conversation than anything. Good luck to you!


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